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No, it’s not soda or candy. It’s not a pill or a potion. Booty Pop are padded women’s panties designed to make butts “POP.” Not fatter popping butts mind you, but eye popping, gravity defying, hard as steel, J-LO butts. I happened to catch a late night commercial last weekend, and hurriedly wrote the name of the product down because I KNEW that I wanted to think more about this one.

Being a part time film maker I have already dreamed up a scene in a movie. A young guy meets a hot chick one night in a bar. She has an awesome body. Filled out just right in all the best places. Long shapely legs, a tight shapely butt, perfectly formed chest, beautiful long hair, lovely richly colored eyes, luscious lips, a perfect smile, smooth tanned skin. A stunning woman. The guy is infatuated, but the chick is hesitant to take it any farther. Finally one night they go out and she has a bit too much to drink so they end up back at his place. The disrobing takes place and………..once she removes her high heels, girdle, padded bra, wig, and booty pop she looks like a heroin emaciated model. The body is gone! The tan stops at the dress line and she has to pause to re inflate her lips. What happened top the girl he thought he knew?! She’s gone!

Ok, ok this is extreme, but movies are one thing. The point is that this sadly has always been the way of women’s “fashion.” Girdles have been around for centuries. Wigs, actual facepaint (a little hint to some women out there. A little can go a long way) and various props have been utilized to form a female exo skeleton. An exterior armor, if you will, that once removed reveals the real deal.

I am not going to even bother about the benefits of exercise and god food to get around all this. Why? It’s a lost cause. How can hard work compete with surgery, pills and add ons? The easy way out has and always will be the road most traveled. Truth be told I hope the manufacturers of Booty Pop make millions of dollars. It will give me something to look at walking down the street, and it may help provide some padding for those sports wives and girlfriends having to sit in hard stadium seating. I (and my clients) though will be foolishly slugging and sweating away to keep ourselves in shape. Inside and outside. At least I can take some pride in the fact that I don’t feel the need to use heel lifts, padded clothes, fake hair, steroids, injected/topical growth hormone/testosterone, or cucumbers (ala Spinal Tap) for my personal exo skeleton suit. Have at it everyone!

Best,

Robert

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Back in my teens I was a Beatles nut, and had all their records as a group and as solo artists. I read all the books, and eventually took my first “drum lessons” from Ringo Starr. Ok…not in person, but (just like he did) from records. I liked them all, but John Lennon seemed to be able to write the most heartfelt songs. He was also a fighter, a talented artist and appeared to have gotten to the point where he didn’t give a damn what people thought about him. He was pretty friggin cool.

It was December 1980. My first year living in Brooklyn NY, with no money playing drums and making trouble for myself. I had been hanging out with my upstairs neighbor who wanted to hear some Beatles records. We listened to some tracks, and me being the restless sort of guy I was back then, decided to go out to the bar. As I was leaving the neighbor leaned out of his window and yelled that he had just heard something on the radio about John Lennon being shot somewhere in the lower east side of Manhattan.

“Is he all right” I think I asked.

The neighbor said he was being rushed to a hospital.

Obviously the part about the lower east side wasn’t quite accurate, but one thing that was spot on (as we all found out) was that he had been shot. Little did I know how badly he had been shot. As I walked into the bar (I knew the bartender there and many patrons!), I asked if anyone had heard anything about it. No one had. The football game had been on, the jukebox etc. No one had heard what was to become the famous Howard Cosell announcement on Monday Night Football. I got a drink and wondered hmmm. Is this true or not? Shortly after the news came on, and the very first thing I saw were Beatles clips. My heart jumped. Then I heard the news. It took a long while to sink in. It was like someone had suddenly wiped out my nearest and dearest. I just sat there in a kind of shock.

After some time I went to visit my sometimes band mate, and best friend (we came out to NYC together from Chicago). He hadn’t heard either so I broke the news. I went upstairs to commiserate with another friend (and his girlfriend who I eventually ended up marrying and divorcing a few years ago).  By 2 AM I was on my way to the Dakota. The place where Lennon had lived, and now had died. Murdered. I don’t know why but I just felt I had to be there. These were the days before 24/7 cable news and the internet. I was in tears. When I got there the police had erected barricades and a crowd was gathering. The mood needless to say was VERY somber. I  just kind of stood there and thinking back now I can’t really remember what I was thinking.

What a shock it was. He and Yoko had just released their first record in 5 years, and it looked like Lennon was back. To be cut down like that by some nut job was just not right. Yoko still tries to keep Mark David Chapman behind bars. She has attended every parole hearings. I kind of wish they would release him because I am sure there are people out there who would hurt him very badly if he was.

I sometimes wonder what he would be like if Lennon was still around today. What would he be doing? Still recording? Who knows. I have memories though. I remember my friend saying that John Lennon was the brother he never had. I remember someone’s girlfriend crying inconsolably in the bar when the news broke. I remember the strange sight of watching clips of Lennon on TV broadcast in silence during  the “moments of silence” section of the memorial service in Central Park a few days later. A man that made his mark with sound and there he was making no sound! It was like that moment when you watch the coffin going into the ground and the final realization hits you. You will never see that person again. I remember learning my first drums from Ringo Starr playing on Plastic Ono Band (Lennon’s best solo album). I remember one time earlier that year wandering around, and looking for the Dakota hoping to spot him, but I never did.

Now 29 years later it reminds me that I have come a long way. I am taking this time to remember the wins that I have had in my life. However big or small. Why not take some time to remind yourself of yours? Lennon would have probably said that it was time well worth spending. He would have said to move on with your life, and make it good.

To John Winston Ono Lennon MBE (retired). You were (and still are) are a part of my life. May your legacy live on.

Robert Troch

If you know me and FFTV you know that I /we like basic stuff. Following trends, and fads are for the people that don’t have a clue. Here’s clue number 1. If you want a better body, health and fitness why not follow the best known practices that are less sexy, more time consuming and require a greater commitment?  That’s the way it has always worked. No one has ever come along and found a better way than that. No  matter what today’s magazines, studies and technology might say body transformation, and any fitness worth a damn still requires hard, hard work. It also means doing some things that are hard for you. I think those things are called weaknesses. One of my weaknesses is leg strength, and it gets the attention it needs at times. Whats’ your? You should know. You won’t learn it at a “health club” though.

That means the exercises, the reason for the exercises, the plan you set for the exercises, and the food you put in your mouth are all pretty basic, challenging as hell, well thought out and done with a mond / body connection. Anything less and you have reduced your chance of success by up to 50%!

For a weekend warrior that may be something pretty basic. Depending on what YOUR goal is (that is what a coach is supposed to do), and what your weaknesses are (what has to be fixed so you can earn that is how your exercises routine should be structured. It means you should thrive because of your training. It doesn’t mean you are simply a survivor.

Unfortunately that is the message I frequently see out there. I found this NY times video about Push Ups. A wonderful exercise AND one of those basics we talked about. In fact it is so basic that I would say everyone needs to be able to do at least 10 full body push ups (20 might be better) before they ever even think about touching a barbell or a dumbell for Bench Pressing. Anyways…..there are some videos of women in a health Club doing horrendous push ups. The “trainer” even has some skinny chick trying clapping push ups, and they ain’t pretty. Keep that up and she is asking for trouble. Just watch the trainers attitude and you will also see the hype and image problem in today’s commercial fitness.

If you have watched past episodes of Fusion Fitness TV you should know how to do a push up and why. If not you can go here. Or for a particularly tough version you can watch here. AND yes Jen does struggle with those push ups. In reality every single one of her push ups should be as perfect as possible. Carry this rule in your own pocket. As soon as your form starts going stop the exercise. Pushing onwards into sloppy, un-targeted exercise will only lead to much of nothing. Percentages immediately begin to plunge downward. Today’s commercial fitness wants to inflate your ego by providing you with false claims, fancy (and not the most productive exercises and programs) and sexy looking “workouts.”

Here is the basic premise.

“The Kymaro™ New Body Shaper and Bottom Shaper are the fastest and safest way to take off inches in all the important places where we can’t seem to lose the weight. Plus, these two amazing undergarments smooth out the rolls and bulges, giving the simple look of a sleek and slender body. Everyone will be asking you how you lost the weight! No other shaper out there compares to this! Don’t forget we have a 30 day money back guarantee!”

I wish I had thought of this! Think of all the different ways to sell a bunch of them.

You could wear a different color each day of the week!

You could wear a flesh colored version to the beach!

As you get fatter and fatter you keep buying bigger sizes!

You could even have the mortician stuff you in the special look good in your coffin version!

Best of all no tiring exercise. In fact……….. no effort at all!
Why stop there? Why not a whole body suit? If you don’t like your face you could even wear the “individualized” Kymaro look beautiful mask. The possibilities are endless.

AND some women buy into this crap. As if tis thing is something worthy of “consumer comments.” Look at these comments I found:

<<<<< “ HAPPY WITH THE JEANS!!! I AGREE WITH THE OTHERS ABOUT THE BOTTOM BODY SHAPER, IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!

10. Written by NY, on 03-11-2009 22:34

THE SIZE IS NOT WHAT IT SAID..IF YOUR A BIGGER BODY TYPE PLEASE RECOSIDER TH ESIZE..MAYBE YOU GOING TO HAVE TO RETURN IT BECAUSE THERES NO WAY GET IT ON..>>>>>

Taking a look at what is around us is a reflection of what we think about ourselves. What does this say? It says that if you want to be buff, fit and healthy you are NOT the norm. You are the unusual one. Keep that in mind as you exercise. In today’s society you are the exception, and not the rule. That means it takes work. Some planning and thinking, and yes, HARD WORK. Thta’s ok though. You and I wouldn’t have it any other way right?

Best,

Robert

Happy Thanksgiving,

Robert