For some reason I totally missed this (I am definitely NOT the target market though) but here it is. The Booty Pop.

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No, it’s not soda or candy. It’s not a pill or a potion. Booty Pop are padded women’s panties designed to make butts “POP.” Not fatter popping butts mind you, but eye popping, gravity defying, hard as steel, J-LO butts. I happened to catch a late night commercial last weekend, and hurriedly wrote the name of the product down because I KNEW that I wanted to think more about this one.

Being a part time film maker I have already dreamed up a scene in a movie. A young guy meets a hot chick one night in a bar. She has an awesome body. Filled out just right in all the best places. Long shapely legs, a tight shapely butt, perfectly formed chest, beautiful long hair, lovely richly colored eyes, luscious lips, a perfect smile, smooth tanned skin. A stunning woman. The guy is infatuated, but the chick is hesitant to take it any farther. Finally one night they go out and she has a bit too much to drink so they end up back at his place. The disrobing takes place and………..once she removes her high heels, girdle, padded bra, wig, and booty pop she looks like a heroin emaciated model. The body is gone! The tan stops at the dress line and she has to pause to re inflate her lips. What happened top the girl he thought he knew?! She’s gone!

Ok, ok this is extreme, but movies are one thing. The point is that this sadly has always been the way of women’s “fashion.” Girdles have been around for centuries. Wigs, actual facepaint (a little hint to some women out there. A little can go a long way) and various props have been utilized to form a female exo skeleton. An exterior armor, if you will, that once removed reveals the real deal.

I am not going to even bother about the benefits of exercise and god food to get around all this. Why? It’s a lost cause. How can hard work compete with surgery, pills and add ons? The easy way out has and always will be the road most traveled. Truth be told I hope the manufacturers of Booty Pop make millions of dollars. It will give me something to look at walking down the street, and it may help provide some padding for those sports wives and girlfriends having to sit in hard stadium seating. I (and my clients) though will be foolishly slugging and sweating away to keep ourselves in shape. Inside and outside. At least I can take some pride in the fact that I don’t feel the need to use heel lifts, padded clothes, fake hair, steroids, injected/topical growth hormone/testosterone, or cucumbers (ala Spinal Tap) for my personal exo skeleton suit. Have at it everyone!

Best,

Robert

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