I don’t usually go in for remembering tragedies and reliving the whole thing. Why relive all those bad feelings? Better to move on because that is what the person that is now dead would probably love you to do. However……..as I was reading about this particular anniversary today I started to think.

Back in my teens I was a Beatles nut, and had all their records as a group and as solo artists. I read all the books, and eventually took my first “drum lessons” from Ringo Starr. Ok…not in person, but (just like he did) from records. I liked them all, but John Lennon seemed to be able to write the most heartfelt songs. He was also a fighter, a talented artist and appeared to have gotten to the point where he didn’t give a damn what people thought about him. He was pretty friggin cool.

It was December 1980. My first year living in Brooklyn NY, with no money playing drums and making trouble for myself. I had been hanging out with my upstairs neighbor who wanted to hear some Beatles records. We listened to some tracks, and me being the restless sort of guy I was back then, decided to go out to the bar. As I was leaving the neighbor leaned out of his window and yelled that he had just heard something on the radio about John Lennon being shot somewhere in the lower east side of Manhattan.

“Is he all right” I think I asked.

The neighbor said he was being rushed to a hospital.

Obviously the part about the lower east side wasn’t quite accurate, but one thing that was spot on (as we all found out) was that he had been shot. Little did I know how badly he had been shot. As I walked into the bar (I knew the bartender there and many patrons!), I asked if anyone had heard anything about it. No one had. The football game had been on, the jukebox etc. No one had heard what was to become the famous Howard Cosell announcement on Monday Night Football. I got a drink and wondered hmmm. Is this true or not? Shortly after the news came on, and the very first thing I saw were Beatles clips. My heart jumped. Then I heard the news. It took a long while to sink in. It was like someone had suddenly wiped out my nearest and dearest. I just sat there in a kind of shock.

After some time I went to visit my sometimes band mate, and best friend (we came out to NYC together from Chicago). He hadn’t heard either so I broke the news. I went upstairs to commiserate with another friend (and his girlfriend who I eventually ended up marrying and divorcing a few years ago).  By 2 AM I was on my way to the Dakota. The place where Lennon had lived, and now had died. Murdered. I don’t know why but I just felt I had to be there. These were the days before 24/7 cable news and the internet. I was in tears. When I got there the police had erected barricades and a crowd was gathering. The mood needless to say was VERY somber. I  just kind of stood there and thinking back now I can’t really remember what I was thinking.

What a shock it was. He and Yoko had just released their first record in 5 years, and it looked like Lennon was back. To be cut down like that by some nut job was just not right. Yoko still tries to keep Mark David Chapman behind bars. She has attended every parole hearings. I kind of wish they would release him because I am sure there are people out there who would hurt him very badly if he was.

I sometimes wonder what he would be like if Lennon was still around today. What would he be doing? Still recording? Who knows. I have memories though. I remember my friend saying that John Lennon was the brother he never had. I remember someone’s girlfriend crying inconsolably in the bar when the news broke. I remember the strange sight of watching clips of Lennon on TV broadcast in silence during  the “moments of silence” section of the memorial service in Central Park a few days later. A man that made his mark with sound and there he was making no sound! It was like that moment when you watch the coffin going into the ground and the final realization hits you. You will never see that person again. I remember learning my first drums from Ringo Starr playing on Plastic Ono Band (Lennon’s best solo album). I remember one time earlier that year wandering around, and looking for the Dakota hoping to spot him, but I never did.

Now 29 years later it reminds me that I have come a long way. I am taking this time to remember the wins that I have had in my life. However big or small. Why not take some time to remind yourself of yours? Lennon would have probably said that it was time well worth spending. He would have said to move on with your life, and make it good.

To John Winston Ono Lennon MBE (retired). You were (and still are) are a part of my life. May your legacy live on.

Robert Troch